Do not fall under the influence of others. How not to fall under the influence of the evil eye. How to break free from the influence of a narcissist

An energy vampire represents a person who takes away the energy of another person. After meeting with such people, you feel bad, some kind of illness may appear. Vampirism is divided: conscious, unconscious. The purposeful one specially feeds on the power of people in order to maintain their well-being, the unconscious simply have a gift, and without suspecting, they take away human energy from the people around him. How to deal with energy vampires?

Ways to deal with energy vampires

Feel tired after communicating with specific people, just stop talking to them. If this is not possible, stay with this person in good mood don't show your nervousness.

After all, they are fueled precisely in these moments of weakening. Since in time of irritation you splash out emotions, and such persons feed on this. Find out how to cheer yourself up.

Do not open up to people in the first minutes of communication, because many bad people take advantage of this and feed on your activity. With strangers, try to keep your distance, maintain calm and balance.

When talking to them, set up mental protection in the form of a wall.

You can also imagine a mirror instead of a wall, reflecting his bad messages in your direction. Such methods will fence you off from the bad thoughts of this type of people.

The victims of these persons are persons who, according to appearance seem weak. Therefore, control your behavior, try to always keep a smile on your face.

A smile acts like a garlic that scares away, it will not approach you, because it will not find a point from which it would be possible to feed on your vital energy.

Also, try to perceive all the barbs from the outside with humor, if they say something offensive, laugh it off, do not give free rein to your emotions. Find out: how to increase your level of intelligence.

It is very bad when your loved ones are energy vampires. After all, it is very difficult to defend against them, the constant presence nearby takes strength.

When you communicate with the kind of such people, protect your biofield. You can save the biofield simply by crossing your arms or legs. By doing this, you close your portal, and it is easier to fight the energy vampire, since it is difficult for him to find a thread of contact with your field.

The main thing is to identify them, but after reading the article, you will be able to defend yourself.

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Every day we encounter people who, although they do not put their hand in our pocket, are aiming for something that no amount of money can buy. Life energy is constantly being stolen from us, but why this happens and how to short-circuit a presumptuous vampire - alas, we were not taught in schools.

You to me, I to you

It is no longer a secret to anyone that a person is not only a material body, but also the sum of energies, many of which have been known to scientists for a long time: these are the electrical radiation of the brain, neutrons and neutrinos that make up atoms, and, of course, bioenergy or bioplasma .

Bioenergetics argue that people always exchange energy, even when they sleep or are silent. We subconsciously feel the interaction of our energy field with someone else's and react by changing either mood or physical condition.

If it’s easy and pleasant for you and a person, if you have something to keep quiet about, it means that your energy exchange is fine, you “feed” each other, and both benefit from it.

But if you feel irritation, a sharp loss of strength, anxiety, or even sudden pain, then there is an energy devourer next to you. Everyone needs bioenergy, like blood and lymph. But sometimes it is sorely lacking. There may be several reasons for such a shortage.

These are: serious illness, old age, severe fatigue.

However, nothing exhausts people as much as negative emotions: irritation, anger, greed, anger, guilt, jealousy.

It is they who create "holes" in our energy field, and it is through them that power "flows out". And having lost a lot of their energy, people inevitably begin to look for how to replenish its reserves.

Helping a Vampire

Notice how exhausting a simple morning bus ride can be. Dozens of the same aggressive and tortured citizens, standing next to you, are just waiting for someone to pour out their irritation on and from whom to “intercept” the missing energy.

The more you are subject to the general mood, the more you run the risk of being "eaten" by your comrades in misfortune. In calm, joyful people, the biofield is balanced and resembles a golden egg - it is difficult to break a hole in such a “shell”.

But it is precisely in this that the starving “vampire” sees his task. Therefore, he will try to unbalance the potential victim.

The recipe is simple: They will try to piss you off. In a fit of anger, you yourself will throw out emotions and with them - most of the energy. You can also get the desired “treat” through fear: fear forms “holes” in a person’s aura.

Penetrating through them, the energy glutton begins his feast. Often we lie down on the sacrificial altar voluntarily! “I have no one to turn to but you”, “I am so unhappy”, - which of us, seeing the tears of our friends, did not hurry with consolations?

And now you have opened up, and your energy is leaving you, like from a broken gas cylinder. After working with a "vest" you always feel terrible fatigue and indifference to everything.

However, you can find an unwitting vampire in an even closer environment. If you fall for accusations, they say, you are a bad mother or an unworthy daughter, then you lose strength for self-flagellation.

This opens the way for a vampire relative. None of those close to you sets a goal - to take away more energy from you and harm you. This happens on a subconscious level.

The positive moment life together is that the family automatically "feeds" us with energy in case of need.

Is there something wrong

No matter how harmonious the energy balance of a married couple is, no one is immune from unexpected failures.

Anxious wives feel that something is wrong with their husband, but they cannot understand what is wrong. In most cases, seeing that a man has begun to invest less personal energy in a relationship, the wife “makes a diagnosis”: she has fallen out of love.

Do not rush to sound the alarm and make claims. Think about what these changes may be connected with: maybe the husband began to get tired at work or falls ill, the crisis situation at work and problems with relatives could be the cause.

Often a man just needs rest, psychological comfort or solitude. So help him. But a scandal is the most trouble-free way to pump out more vital energy from a person.

The emptiness that you subsequently experience is not at all caused by an exchange of offensive words, but by the loss of a significant amount of strength that went into feeding the screaming one.

And if you are the regular instigator of scandals, then we can safely say that you “feed” at the expense of your husband, son, father, etc. In many families, scandals become a frequent occurrence due to the fact that spouses do not know any other way to exchange energy.

Meanwhile, he is in a simple conversation, in making love, in joint walks ...

Flowers of life

Children under 3-4 years old can be identified as a special risk group: they have a weak energy protection Therefore, they are highly dependent on the mood of the parents. True, they restore their energy balance faster than adults.

And if the child has become unreasonably naughty, weak and pale - the reason may be in the vampire who is nearby.

Sex heals!

In order not to be either a robber or a victim, you need to monitor your energy potential: regularly replenish it, control emotions and stress, make sure that you constantly have at least small positive impressions.

And there are several ways to maintain the correct energy balance. For example, through relaxation, yoga, meditation. Prayer and other methods of immersion in oneself or turning to higher powers- very powerful agents.

Recall that sex is one of the most ancient ways to exchange energy: the merger of yin and yang creates a very special being - self-sufficient and happy, which does not seek anything, does not aspire anywhere and is in bliss.

Paradoxical as it may seem, but physical activity (running, exercise equipment, swimming, etc.) can also energize. The main thing is not to overdo it.

If possible, walk barefoot on the grass, contemplate fire or flowing water, and indulge in nature trips. Communication with trees and flowers restores your peace of mind.

Football, sauna, beer...

An old, tried-and-tested way to make up for a constant lack of energy is to get an animal or decorate your house with flowers. Any plants (with the exception of vines, orchids and many "marsh" species), pets not only delight the eye, but also heal the soul.

The energy invested in communication with friends will not be wasted. The fields of like-minded people work in the same rhythm, calming and complementing each other.

So, gatherings with friends are necessary for your health just like your husband needs football, sauna and beer. Do not forget about cute little hobbies and about your own corner in the house, where everything is saturated only with your energy and there are no extraneous influences: even if this tiny saving paradise fits only in an armchair.

Gingerbread Man, Gingerbread Man, and I'll eat you!

But what to do when you have already become the object of an attack and a starving "vampire" clatters its teeth at your nose?

First of all, try to put up a barrier between you. A chair, a tree, a fence or a dog on a leash will inevitably cool the ardor of the "glutton". In case of failure, increase the distance separating you.

If you were unable to meet the danger while standing, and the adversary took the next chair or settled down at your table, cross your arms in front of your chest, interlace your legs or show this person a blow (so as not to stir up passions - behind your back or in your pocket).

Old grandmother's methods work flawlessly. If there is no way to stop the energy drain immediately (for example, it is caused by a parent's illness or a child's growth difficulties), make this process conscious.

Mentally send your loved ones not irritation, but love. Think of your mother or angry husband, mentally repeating "I love you and wish you only the best."

Oddly enough, but the grumbling will immediately stop, the anger will subside. And you, sharing your love, will not lose anything: the one who gives love receives it many times stronger.

By the way:

Bioenergetics claims that our shortcomings are rings and eyelets, for which the vampire, throwing his tentacles, pulls our energy. And if there is nothing to cling to, it will not hook.

So to be good, kind, sweet means to ensure your own safety.

Prevention of extremist manifestations among the youth.

According to the provisions federal law“On counteracting extremist activity” No. 114-FZ of July 25, 2002, extremist activity (extremism) is, among other manifestations:

Incitement of social, racial, national or religious hatred;

Promotion of exclusivity, superiority or inferiority of a person on the basis of his social, racial, national, religious or linguistic affiliation or attitude to religion;

Violation of the rights, freedoms and legitimate interests of a person and a citizen, depending on his social, racial, national, religious or linguistic affiliation or attitude to religion;

Public calls for the implementation of these acts or the mass distribution of obviously extremist materials, as well as their production or storage for the purpose of mass distribution;

Financing these acts or other assistance in their organization, preparation and implementation, including through the provision of educational, printing and material and technical base, telephone and other types of communication or the provision of information services;

Unfortunately, the threat of extremist and terrorist manifestations is still relevant, the range of illegal manifestations is expanding, and the involvement of new members in associations of a destructive nature is carried out with increased activity.

Often, the ideas propagated by members of destructive organizations and associations are presented in such a way that even a mature person finds it difficult to understand their essence. This is especially difficult when the idea is supported by freely interpreted or taken out of context quotes from scriptures, videos that justify violence motivated by hatred towards people of a different nationality, religion, or social status.

The majority of recorded extremist crimes are associated with the spread of ideology (materials on the Internet, leaflets, printed publications, graffiti, oral public speaking).

The main trends currently are:

Increased efforts of persons whose actions are aimed at attracting new members to Islamist organizations (not related to traditional Islam, but using the substitution of traditional concepts of this religion) orientation (including those prohibited in the territory of the Russian Federation).

Thus, in 2016, in Yekaterinburg, the activities of an extremist community operating on the basis of a local religious organization of Muslims, engaged in the distribution of prohibited literature, as well as electronic versions of books via the Internet, and holding sermons, were suppressed. According to the court verdict that has entered into legal force, 2 members of the community were found guilty of committing crimes under Art. 282, 282.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

In addition, organizations that use the distorted ideology of other religions (for example, pseudo-Christian ones) also take active steps to involve new members in destructive activities by organizing lectures, seminars, and distributing various manuals and materials.

The problem of the spread of nationalist ideology is still relevant. As a rule, groups of aggressive youth are formed on a territorial basis or through social networks.

In addition, groups have formed in modern society that are struggling with social problems society, using illegal methods. The position of law enforcement agencies on this matter is unequivocal: it is necessary to fight against socially dangerous phenomena by legal means. Making violent crimes, albeit with good intentions, a person becomes on a par with criminals.

In order not to become a victim of various dubious preachers or unscrupulous politicians, you need to study your history, culture, religion, know your rights and respect the rights of other people. If you know, you cannot be deceived.

In all difficult situations, it is necessary to think critically, consult with loved ones, read literature, resist calls to participate in illegal activities, study different points of view on events, and not make rash decisions.

IA SakhaNews. Poisoning with a spiritual surrogate, which is often offered to their adherents by ministers of destructive religious and psycho-cults, can be difficult to diagnose. How to determine that a person is being manipulated by an organization that declares the spiritual development of the individual? This question will be answered by our recommendations, drawn up on the basis of the experience of domestic and foreign researchers.

"Do you believe in magicians and healers?" - this question was asked on the Internet, 13622 respondents were interviewed. The result of this Internet survey was an interesting statistic: "I don't believe it!" - categorically stated almost 62% of respondents. However, to the second question: “In what cases are you ready to turn to magicians and healers?” “I’ll contact you out of curiosity” -58% answered in unison! Another 25% will rush for help, “if there is a danger to health, 15% will turn to them in case of “personal problems” and, a small number, 1% - “if there are problems at work.” An interesting conclusion suggests itself: it turns out that any of us (even those who do not believe!) Under certain circumstances are ready to turn to dubious technologies. If you are willing to bet that this does not concern you, as a sane person, check yourself with a simple test (SakhaNews news agency “A spiritual surrogate offered by pseudo-religious and psycho-cults always finds its consumer”).

And if you agree that “God saves the safe,” then these tips will come in handy, if not for you personally, then perhaps for your friends or neighbors.

First of all, how to determine that a person has fallen under the influence of a religious sect or a commercial psycho-cult? Pay attention if a person close to you, for example, your child:

1. Interests have changed. He is less interested in family affairs, has become indifferent to communicating with friends, cooled down to work, study, in general, to the usual entertainment and hobbies.

2. The behavior has changed. A person inadequately or aggressively reacts to everyday, familiar things, shows an accentuated indifference to everything. He became more withdrawn, secretive, more stingy with emotions, or, on the contrary, overly emotional, exalted, showing enthusiasm, ready to make sacrifices for the sake of a new business.

3. Speech has changed. Perhaps you will find that he uses characteristic expressions, words, terms that are new to him. Proving something, he often cites strange, unusual quotes as an example. The very manner of speaking can give the impression of a "broken record" due to repetitive, as if memorized speeches. The voice shows dullness, monotony.

4. Habits have changed. Adheres to an unusual diet for him, changed the style of clothing. He devotes a lot of time to reading books, and also diligently engages in meditation or reading prayer texts.

5. The way of life has changed. Despite the fact that communication with friends and work colleagues is limited, there are many phone calls, letters, there is an increase in the number of meetings per week (as well as meetings, seminars, etc.). Possible trips within the country and abroad, not related to work.

6. The spending has changed. There is an unreasonable increase cash costs, pocket expenses (in children). Pay special attention if he spends significant amounts, takes loans from a bank, from relatives, from friends. We emphasize that not all six signs must be present, it is worth considering if you have found at least one of them.

WHAT TO DO?

1. In a relationship - keep in touch

Don't lose your head. A sober look at things will still come in handy. Recognize the right of a person to make his choice, even if, in your opinion, he is erroneous. It is important to show by your behavior that your child (a loved one) is dear to you, regardless of his beliefs, you accept him as he is.

Don't judge his new beliefs. Be calm, positive, open to dialogue. In no case do not attack, even with humor, neither the group nor its leader (teacher, guru, etc.). The most important thing is to maintain contact with the child and maintain a trusting relationship.

Ask questions in a friendly tone in order to understand the situation and obtain the necessary information. But do not arrange an interrogation with prejudice! Do not try to evaluate and judge the actions of the leaders of the organization and the activities of the sect, from the point of view of common sense, try to prove who is right and who is wrong.

On the other hand, it should note obvious contradictions and unobtrusively point them out. At the same time, do not force a person who has fallen under the influence of a sect to explain these contradictions: this will only strengthen his connection with the group. Just listen and note inconsistencies without aggression, give examples drawn from your observations, from the press, from the Internet. Cast doubt on the infallibility of "teachers" and "teachings." Water wears away the stone!

Support his past interests and hobbies. It can be - football, fishing, dancing and more. Relive family and friendship memories. Involve friends and relatives who have authority over him and can influence him. Stimulate and expand the circle of communication outside the group - organize meetings, picnics, holidays. In a word, support everything that is connected with life outside the group, but try to do it unobtrusively, without exerting pressure.

2. Collect information.

Gather information and create a dossier. Write down the names, addresses, phone numbers of persons associated with the activities of your child (a person who has fallen under the influence of a sect). The information you have collected can be invaluable if you need to contact the judicial, medical or law enforcement agencies when organizing the search for a missing relative;

Keep all information related to his group. These can be articles in the press, publications on Internet sites, notes, leaflets. Be careful: do not part with documents relating to the child as a member of this group, as well as documents indicating the activities of the sect itself.

Keep a diary of events related to your child's relationship with the group;

Find out exactly which sect he belongs to. If you could not determine the type of sect, note the nature of his reading: books, pamphlets, and other literature. Determine which words, expressions, terms the child uses in his speech (i.e. dictionary). Find out the schedule of classes, services (prayers, meditations). Find out the names and nicknames of those who make up his new environment. Based on this information, the specialist will be able to guide your search and indicate the name and location of the sect.

Important study the teachings of this group, its characteristic vocabulary. This is what your child will refer to most often. This information is the bridge that connects you to your child. They are necessary to maintain a dialogue with him, they will help you to keep abreast of the events happening with the child in the group.

Control finances. Record the movement of money that passes directly or indirectly through your child;

3. Be careful.

Avoid financial support. Do not send money to your child. Of course, even for ransom, do not send money to the group. Do not “pour water on their mill”, because without financial support, not a single organization can not exist. It is better to send a personal gift to a child that cannot be transferred to the group or sold.

Don't let yourself be intimidated pressure, slander, threats or blackmail. Do not give in to the attempts of your child or his group to charm you, to “tame” you - this will be done in order to neutralize you, “clear the roads”.

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty- this will deprive you of strength, energy, because right now you urgently need strength and common sense.

Do not make frontal attacks on the child. You can’t demand that he immediately leave the group, or forbid him to read the literature of the sect, rudely forbid him to communicate with sectarians) - this can have the opposite effect: it will scare him away, make him withdraw into himself and seek support in the group.

Don't count on that common sense will prevail and a person, over time, will figure out "what's what." Even if he claims to know what he's doing. Even if he is educated and smart. Here, no intellectual immunity can save - there are cases when academicians fell for the bait. Some sects use hypnotic techniques, introduction to trance states, almost all destructive sects actively use consciousness manipulation and effective psychotechniques. That's all, this allows the sectarians to "process" the victim, to bring him to the necessary pseudological conclusions.

Do not leave attempts to pull out of the sect your child (husband, sister,

friend, etc.) referring to the fact that he is an adult and himself bears

responsibility for yourself. He alone cannot cope with the massive pressure from the group: "love bombing", intimidation, instillation of guilt, financial and physical addiction and other destructive methods.

4. Enlist the help of other people

Seek help from specialized organizations to assist you in your efforts to return a child or other loved one home. Consult with a psychologist, psychotherapist. Develop with them a single strategy of behavior in relation to the child.

If one of the parents involves a minor child in a sect, act immediately- Inform law enforcement agencies. Give them a dossier on the group and demand, if necessary, a search in the interests of the family. File a complaint with the Public Prosecutor's Office.

But do not immediately trust "specialists" who will offer you paid services, to cure the child "from addiction" or to protect his interests in court. First of all, you need to make sure that this is exactly the specialist for whom he claims to be. It is not uncommon for these "specialists" to be members of the group at the same time. And this happens at any level: high-ranking officials, scientists, doctors, teachers, and lawyers become victims. Be carefull!

Alas ... there are times when you have to act in a judicial or medical order or through social security. Ask your doctor for a medical health card your child before he enters the sect.

Don't be alone with your problem. This trouble can enter any home, regardless of religion, social status, regardless of gender, age, profession, education and level of intelligence. Look for families that have also been affected by this problem, exchange information, experience, and operational information about the situation in the group.

And finally, we still want to warn you against the "witch hunt" and offer short guide, a beacon that will more or less sensibly explain how this group has signs of a destructive (totalitarian) sect. These leaflets were developed by the German Government. They are handed out to German schoolchildren, but it may well be suitable in order to warn our children of the danger:

So, "BE CAREFUL!", if at least one of the following signs seems familiar to you:

1. In the group you will find exactly what you have been looking for in vain until now. She knows exactly what you're missing.

2. Already the first meeting opens up a completely new way of looking at things for you.

3. The group's worldview explains any problem in a stunningly simple way.

4. It is difficult to make an accurate description of the group. You don't have to speculate or check. Your new friends say: "It's impossible to explain, you have to experience it - come with us to our Center now"

5. The group has a teacher, medium, leader or guru. Only he knows the whole truth.

6. The teaching of the group is considered the only true, eternally true knowledge. Traditional science, rational thinking, reason are rejected because they are negative, satanic, unenlightened.

7. Criticism from outside the group is considered proof of its correctness.

8. The world is headed for disaster, and only the group knows how to save it.

9. Your group is the elite. The rest of humanity is severely ill and deeply lost for not cooperating with the group or allowing it to save itself.

10. You must immediately become a member of the group.

11. The group limits itself from the rest of the world, for example, clothing, food, a special language, a clear regulation of interpersonal relationships.

12. The group wants you to break off their "old" relationships, as they impede your development.

13. Yours sexual relations externally regulated. For example, the manual selects partners, prescribes group sex or, conversely, complete abstinence.

14. The group fills all your time with assignments: selling books or newspapers, recruiting new members, attending courses, meditating...

15. It is very difficult to be alone, someone from the group is always there for you.

16. If you begin to doubt, if the promised success does not come, then you will always be to blame yourself, because you supposedly do not work on yourself enough time or believe too weakly.

17. The group requires absolute and unquestioning adherence to its rules and discipline, since this is the only way to salvation.

This article obligatory a must read for those who are in relationships with the most dangerous type of man - the narcissist. Studies have shown that 10% of girls already at the age of 20 had contact with a narcissist. Narcissists are both men and women they have certain signs.

Knight in shining armor Duke Narcissus.

A narcissist is an easy person to love because they will seem confident, stable and ready to support us at any moment. However, they often themselves create the situation from which you need to be “rescued”. This type of men is not uncommon, but they are disguised.

Daffodils Artfully break all your usual supports that saved you before meeting them, so you have no choice but to turn to them for help. This is how you fall into their trap.

You are slowly but surely getting tight dependent from a narcissist. There is a feeling that you are not you can take care of yourself on your own, thereby strengthening your attachment.

The narcissist loves not you, but himself in the reflection of your eyes

You start to feel that together against the whole world

The first step in the alienation game is to create a Romeo and Juliet prototype bond with you, you begin feel, that it's you two against the whole world. Gradually, you become paranoid, thinking that others want to make you unhappy, try to harm you and separate you from your loved one.

Only with Romeo can you be happy and he saves you from those evil people who are trying to hurt you. The main goal of a narcissist is to make you stayed with him so if you hear phrases in style from your man for a good reason, then this is the first bell:

"Don't talk to her, she's not your friend, spend more time with me and not with your friends"

No, this is the ringing of bells, meaning that you have met. The manipulator creates such an atmosphere that it begins to seem to you that he is the only one you can really trust. Actually it is not.

We've all been in relationships when we started to neglect old friendships, but if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, then you may lose not only friends, but also family. One of the goals that a male narcissist has is deprive you of everything so that you have time only for him, he will not spare even your family. By isolating you from everyone, they take away your resources and support, making you more dependent. They may even tell others that you are crazy or unstable.

The narcissist knows your weaknesses and keeps yours in limbo

Narcissus knows your weaknesses therefore, uses against you something that will hurt you as much as possible to destroy everything that you hold dear. For example, you hear phrases such as “If people knew you as well as I do, they would never communicate with you. You would be disgusting to them” or “If you do this, then I will take your children away from you”, “These people don’t like you, they are good, but you are not”, “Only I treat you well, others will wipe their feet on you ".

Daffodils love to keep in limbo, and always give you an aggravating feeling of guilt. you know that you good man, but all the time doing something wrong, for which you are constantly scolded. Just give the narcissist a reason to criticize you, believe me, he will not miss it.

The narcissistic person is engrossed in the contemplation of one's own beauty, one's own importance, or one's own suffering, and with the help of a psychoanalyst, relishes it in rapture, comfortably nestled in a bed of sorrow.

Confusion and self-doubt

All these manipulations start small and get worse and worse. The narcissist man does everything to make you think everything is fine in order to tire your self-preservation instincts so that you do not see that there really is a problem. You start to notice that Is there something wrong, but the narcissist does everything to get you to start thinking what you think.

If you make accusations against the narcissist, they will place the blame on you. As a result, you will have thoughts: “It’s not him who is bad, but me”, “I started the conflict first, he only defended himself.” When this happens, it means go process of internal destruction. The purpose of this game is to confuse you so that you start to doubt yourself. When this happens, you have lost and you have lost yourself.

You can’t find any logical explanation for some of your partner’s actions - yesterday he said that you have a beautiful new dress that sat on you like a glove, and the next day he claims that it makes you fat, and did not prevent you from losing weight in order to its background does not seem like a gray mouse. You will be kept in limbo so that you will finally go astray.

Narcissists take your attention away

The last and most skillful element of the narcissist's manipulation is abstraction. They competently direct your attention in the direction that is beneficial to them. They act as skillfully as conjurers.

Narcissus distracts you from important problems and leads you astray, directing your attention in the direction that it is beneficial to him. Such actions lead to the feeling that your conversations and problems do not make any sense.

How to recognize and break free from the influence of a narcissist

Take care of yourself, develop your personality.This is important in any relationship - develop your personality, don't lose close friends no matter what, do what you love, and stick to your goals.

Do what makes you feel you stronger, conquer the peaks, even if they tell you that you can’t do it, and when you succeed, be sure to praise yourself. If you become a strong personality, you will be able to early stage to resist the narcissist and not even let such a person approach you at the dating stage.

If you have already fallen under the influence of such a person, then fight you will be led astray, humiliated and manipulated, but you can do it.

Analyze your partner's strange actions

To fully understand the situation, you need to remember all the points that have been described above. Analyze the strange actions of your partner, if in the process of reading the article you recognized your partner or friend, then you need to save yourself.

Pay close attention to your safety and emotional and physical health. Trust in this matter important factor, listen to yourself, which will help recognize the narcissist.

How to break free from the influence of a narcissist

If you recognize a narcissist, then it is not enough just to take care of yourself. It is necessary to fight him. He will leave and then come back (they always come back), manipulating you, blaming you for all the troubles, threatening, feeling that he is losing control over you.

You are dependent in this relationship, this must be recognized, as soon as you accept this, then your treatment will begin from this stage. Read, which will tell you how to recognize and get rid of codependency. There is also a situation when your partner is not only a narcissist, but also

If you can't manage on your own, there's nothing to be ashamed of ask for help. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is in this situation, then you can save him, isolate him from the narcissist, but this will not be easy. The narcissist will do everything they can to get rid of you, in order to deal with him, you will need to really want to help.

The myth of Narcissus

Even among the ancients there was a story about a narcissistic young man. An instructive story tells of a pretty young man - Narcissus, who was in search of love. He had such a high opinion of his beauty that he even refused the beautiful nymph Echo. Shortly thereafter, Narcissus accidentally noticed his own reflection on the water. Unable to take his eyes off the picturesque face, he froze in one place. Subsequently, the flower of the same name grew there, reminiscent of excessive self-love.

Thanks to the myth, self-centeredness, destructive for a person, received a sonorous name. The collective image of a narcissistic and arrogant personality is ideally embodied in an ancient legend. The short parable was able to convey the essence - the pretentious and distorted self-perception common to all narcissists. Consider the phenomenon of narcissism in more detail.

Is Narcissism a Syndrome?

First of all, this complex disorder psyche, harming not only the "carrier", but also others. The matter here is not limited to mere inflated self-conceit and an inadequate need for the admiration of people. A person really thinks that he is superior to others (even relatives and partners). The narcissist demands special attention, royal privileges. He behaves arrogantly in society, contemptuously treats its participants. Starting from adolescence, self-adoration of such people subsequently crosses all boundaries. A person has obsessive fantasies about imaginary greatness. And high self-esteem does not justify it. For narcissists, it is rather inflated, not necessarily based on specific achievements in life.

The spectrum of mental disorders is quite large: from a "normal" narcissist to a pathological illness. The phenomenon can be classified as follows:

1. Constructive narcissism

This type of disorder is referred to as the so-called "healthy" manifestations. The need for dominance, communication and attention, one way or another, is characteristic of many of us. And it is not at all necessary to accuse all public people (athletes, politicians or actors) of excessive narcissism in advance. It is quite possible that a person simply wants to reveal his talent, help society, realize healthy ambitions. The only exceptions are those people who achieve a high position in society in order to dominate the rest. By the way, this is the most common type of narcissism.

2. Vulnerable narcissism

This type of disorder is somewhat less studied, since its representatives are difficult to identify. Behind a social mask and ostentatious bravado, they hide low self-esteem, the vulnerability of the psyche. Unlike the constructive type, vulnerable narcissists are afraid to show themselves in public: their sensitivity to criticism is too high. However, as well as fixation on oneself loved ones. Even phlegmatic and inconspicuous guys believe in their uniqueness, and do not allow any doubts about it. However, they are easier to unbalance than public narcissists. Their self-esteem is shaky.

3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The extreme degree of development of narcissism is its pathological form (NRL). In this case, the egoism of a person goes off scale beyond all moral boundaries. The behavior of a narcissist is akin to the habits of some wild animal. He easily makes reckless and immoral decisions, reacts aggressively to fair remarks, distorts even obvious facts in his favor. Such self-affirmation at the expense of others brings a lot of suffering to the relatives and partners of the narcissist.

Narcissism and its symptoms

There are a number of factors that influence the formation of a narcissistic personality in one way or another:

1. Genetic factors (heredity does matter);

2. Biological (in individuals with NPD, scientists have found a lack of gray matter in the area of ​​the brain responsible for emotional behavior);

3. Social (if a strict manner of upbringing can give impetus to the development of latent narcissism, then constant praise is a constructive type of illness).

Excessive sensitivity, experienced violence, problems in the family or permissiveness can also cause the development of the disorder. You can determine the onset of the disease by characteristic signs:

Grandiose conceit and the illusion of one's own exclusivity;

Feeling of superiority and, as a result, a tendency to exploit others;

The absence of the slightest sense of guilt for the abominations committed.

The narcissist skillfully devalues ​​others, and at the same time idealizes himself. This brings him some peace of mind. He is really concerned about his own image in the eyes of others, and does not allow his criticism. He is in constant search for values ​​and status things that confirm his reputation as an exceptionally highly developed person. This is a supporter of bohemia, the elite class. A narcissist should, a priori, be able to break any rules. All orders of a powerful person must be carried out unquestioningly, and motives must not be questioned. Such is his credo.

At the same time, a person’s self-esteem can be characterized by instability, fragility. The protective redoubts of the grandiose Ego sometimes obscure the real personality so much that a person himself cannot understand himself.

Perverse narcissism and its treatment

Not every narcissist will make a mess if he is somehow offended. Many people with symptoms of NPD struggle with their condition. However, there is also a category of people who are really dangerous to society. They are called perverted narcissists. A feature of the psyche of such children is a tendency to moral violence in all its forms. Abuse is often accompanied by a distortion of the present state of affairs. By constantly turning the words and arguments of a partner inside out, a perverted narcissist can easily drive him to suicide.

At the same time, as a victim, they choose for themselves by no means weak or initially notorious people. Perverse narcissists are interested in successful representatives of the human race, full of health and strength. They squeeze their juices out so much that the victims have to heal psychological trauma for many years to come. Despite good disguise skills, a perverted maniac can be identified by the following signs:

Negative attitude towards former partners, shifting the responsibility for the breakup onto their shoulders;

Inability to admit one's mistakes, as well as a tendency to judge and criticize others;

The persistent desire of the narcissist to live together, to bind a partner to himself;

Visible deterioration in well-being, problems with psychosomatics after the start of a relationship with a perverted vampire;

Skillful imitation of human emotions along with the manifestation of reactions characteristic of an animal or a psychopath;

Pathological envy, coupled with a thirst for appropriation;

Taking pleasure in the suffering of others;

Conscious position of the victim to develop a guilt complex with a partner;

Denial of reality, avoidance of responsibility.

The goal of the perverted narcissist is to make the other love him more than himself. Like a leech - to cling to the energy of a person. At the first stage of the relationship, he uses the tactics of the "candy-flower period". He treats his favorite dishes, gives valuable gifts. However, the feeling of inner insignificance, desperate envy and the illusion of one's own greatness eventually take their toll. Negative feelings splash out on the “beloved” person like an icy shower. Communication becomes terrible, respect for the personality of the other disappears somewhere, and behavior becomes inexplicable from the point of view of ordinary logic. Instead of a loving partner, a ruthless monster appears.

Such a drastic change is necessary for the narcissist in order for his victim to feel guilty about what is happening. The methodical destruction of the partner's self-esteem, his humiliation and declassification are only occasionally replaced by outbursts of a benevolent mood. These short-term "honeymoon" revivals are only needed to keep a partner around, to form codependency.

Then comes the second stage of an unhealthy relationship: the narcissist actively uses mental blocks and insidious tricks. Cold in a relationship, irrational fits of anger, torture by silence, the threat of parting, ridiculing the sensitivity of a partner, demonstrative non-compliance with one's obligations, accusations of dramatization - all this is in the arsenal of a perverted maniac. He seeks to depersonalize a previously healthy human personality in order to completely subjugate it to himself.

Narcissism in women

The excessive ambition of women with NPD is immediately noticeable. They spend a huge amount of time and money on personal care, they treat their partners in a consumer way. They try to choose caring and sensitive men for themselves, then to exploit them mercilessly. They have absolutely no respect for them, they almost directly call them rags. At the same time, they do not consider it necessary to earn their own living, they are looking for sponsors. Another hallmark of female narcissism can be considered problems in relationships with their own children. There is no true love between mother and child. Women often demand too much, and do not rest on their laurels. Parental narcissism does not bring joy to children in life. Men, at first, admire their arrogant ladies.

Narcissism in men

If you look at the statistics, then NPD is more often observed just in men. It all starts with adolescence, and then slowly and steadily progresses. The peak of the disorder, as a rule, occurs after 35, when a person achieves a high status in society. He gets the opportunity to assert himself and prove to everyone around him his exclusivity. Male narcissists openly use their women to climb the social ladder. In the borderline forms of the disease, they become domestic tyrants and moral abusers. However, in this way, two-faced guys only bring the moment of their loneliness closer. Not every woman can withstand their regimen.

Narcissism and its forms of treatment

Since we have already dealt with the patterns of behavior and key symptoms of NPD, we will now present ways to treat it. The difficulty of the latter lies in the fact that narcissists rarely turn to professional psychologists. They hardly admit that they have problems. Most often, these guys get an appointment because of a conflict with a partner. An experienced therapist will quickly recognize a narcissist's behavior while observing their interactions.

Another reality that psychologists have to put up with is the impossibility of a radical change in personality. In the process of therapy, it is only possible to change a person's attitude towards own behavior, open your eyes to the damage done to all parties. Treatment can be considered successful if the client begins to better understand his meager emotions, discuss them with others. Learns to take responsibility, refuses sky-high and unrealistic goals. He is tolerant of other people's and his own mistakes, adequately perceives criticism. However, getting around the defensive stance of the narcissist is very difficult to achieve. Sometimes you have to play giveaway - in every possible way demonstrate your respect to adjust a person's self-esteem.

Treatment should be both individual and group. In the course of group therapy, the patient learns to perceive and respect human dignity.

Narcissism and personality transformation

Freud wrote about pathological self-love in a negative aspect at the beginning of the century. Narcissism in psychoanalysis was considered exclusively pejoratively: the patient was denied the possibility of successful therapy because of his emotional impenetrability. In other words, they put an end to personalities, they rejected a person. Narcissism according to Freud has long served as a fundamental basis for psychological research, but further practice has shown the erroneous judgments of the master. Scientists have identified key violations of the interaction between the ego and the true personality, and were able to classify mental disorders in a more structural way. Narcissism began to be considered not only in clinical psychiatry, but also in ordinary psychoanalysts' offices.

Professionals began to recognize the objective reactions of a person with NPD who had gone through a certain traumatic experience. Defining a person's true identity has allowed therapists to talk about the possibility of personality transformation. Especially since modern world initially sets unrealistic standards that undermine the human psyche. Now you need to be smart, rich, forever young, etc., to fit the times. The inability to be perfect undermines self-esteem and provokes the emergence of mental problems in a person. Social networks may not directly cause narcissism, but in every possible way contribute to its development. The narcissist, like any other person, gets an excellent opportunity for self-expression. At the same time, the level of his protection on the Internet increases many times: he can erase a negative comment at any time, delete an objectionable interlocutor. Low empathy finds its justification in virtual etiquette. And the display is exclusively positive sides contributes to the consolidation of the disease.

Despite the fact that doctors now allow the treatment of a mental disorder, the internal self-improvement and transformation of a person is often an unbearable task for him. The conscious and strong desire of the narcissist himself is necessary in order to achieve significant success in this direction.