The husband does not want a wife. Why my husband does not want me: the main reasons, psychological methods for solving the problem. Apathy and fatigue

According to the prevailing stereotype, a sexually and mentally healthy man is simply obliged to spend most of his time thinking about intimacy with the one he chose as his companion. Faced with the opposite situation, women, instead of understanding the true reasons for the coldness of their spouse, sharply fall into self-criticism or attack their loved one with reproaches. Both that, and another in relations is inadmissible and demands the obligatory permission. Why does the husband not want sex, and how to awaken interest in him again?

Lack of desire in the nature of relationships

It is very difficult to assess the real sexual state of a man during a period when he is in love, and every touch to the chosen one causes him a storm of emotions. Euphoria, brightness and freshness of sensations, on average, last for young spouses from one to three years, after which a natural decline in sexual sensuality occurs. By this, nature itself, as it were, points to the need to restructure the model of relations between spouses in favor of socialization and strengthening of the cell of society, concentration of forces on the upbringing of offspring.

This difficult period of decrease in sexual activity is marked by another characteristic moment - the awakening and activation of subconscious desires, which until now have been under the shadow of constantly maintained excitement from the closeness of a partner. If earlier some sharp corners in relationships were smoothed out by the idealization of a loved one and unwillingness to spoil each other's mood, now a person has a need to find out his meaning outside the sphere of the family, the priority of "peace for the sake of peace" at home recedes.

All these manifestations are absolutely normal, but resentment and a thirst to feel in the first place again prevent a woman from looking at the situation with a “sober” look. "Why doesn't my husband want me?" - she asks, and beautiful underwear, aphrodisiacs and other attempts to return "everything as it was" are used.

In part, these are the right decisions, and much the best option come to a mutual understanding than scandals and showdowns. However, wise women will begin to look for the cause of the problem, why the husband does not want to sleep with her, beyond the limits of primitive sensuality - in the field of self-affirmation and external causes of the changed state of a man.

Cause of pregnancy

The wife's pregnancy, even if her onset was desired, is a serious stress for a man. “Why doesn’t my husband want me during pregnancy?” women ask, and the answer to this question can be one of the following options:

Fear of harming your loved one and baby with careless actions during sex.
Rejection of the new image of the wife due to the deterioration of her appearance.
An attempt to avoid rejection if the woman has repeatedly responded with irritation to the offer of intimacy.

Most often, the reason why a husband does not want to make love to a pregnant wife is the first situation - the fear of provoking premature birth or hurting her. The fair sex with a low level of libido is often happy with this situation and even begins to artificially stir up the man's anxieties, but such tactics then go sideways to both spouses.

After some time, the husband ceases to perceive the partner as a woman, and in his understanding, she becomes simply the mother of their common child. The restored health of the wife after childbirth does not change anything significant in this matter, since the very essence of intima - psychological intimacy - has already disappeared from the relationship. It will be possible to return it only with the help of a family psychologist and only with the mutual desire of both partners.

It is in the power of a woman to prevent the collapse of the marital union due to the lack of intimacy, because there are quite safe ways to satisfy the sexual desire of a partner without risking pregnancy, for example, using oral sex or the “on the side” position.

Baby in the house

Why does a husband not want intimacy with his wife after childbirth? Despite the seeming absurdity of this statement, psychologically, some men perceive the baby as a rival in the struggle for the attention of the woman they love. This happens when, before the birth, the spouse motherly took care of the missus, looked after him like a child, and with the birth of the baby she shifted all her attention to him.

The usual concepts of a possessive husband are collapsing, burying sexual desires under them. He ceases to perceive female body as something that belongs entirely to him, and may even begin to feel disgust for his wife. Especially if you often observe the procedure of breastfeeding. The situation is aggravated by the fact that during the period of postpartum depression, a woman ceases to take care of herself with the same care as before: she does not bother herself with cosmetic manipulations, she tries to dress simpler and generally “domesticates”.

The presence of the husband at childbirth deserves special attention. The now fashionable direction is completely devoid of a healthy psychological justification. Of course, in the presence of a loved one, a woman feels more secure, but the risk of losing her sexual partner forever in the person of her husband should outweigh considerations of internal comfort for her.

Mistakes of young parents

“Why doesn’t my husband want me after giving birth?” - psychologists hear and see in front of them an exhausted woman with circles under her eyes and a casually dressed woman. “Would you like yourself?” - I want to ask in response, but in response I have to explain the common truths that a man with the advent of a baby is no easier than a woman, and he also needs the support of his soulmate. In addition, experiencing the same difficulties with a decrease in sleep time, the inability to eat calmly, etc., a man is still forced to go to work and carry out labor activities at the same or even faster pace.

Ideally, the child should unite the spouses, make them even more dependent (in a positive sense) on each other and give the relationship a new flavor. Only with the advent of the first-born can a love union be called full-fledged and accomplished, but in reality this fact is more often seen as an obstacle to the manifestation of marital feelings.

Why does a husband not want a wife after childbirth? Because she herself, first of all, ceases to feel like a woman and all goes into motherhood. The unenviable role of the eternal petitioner and observer is assigned to the husband, despite the fact that his physiological needs only increase after a long pause of abstinence (sometimes lasting up to 3 months).

So, main reason Why a husband does not want intimacy with his wife after the birth of a child is the wrong placement of accents by both young parents to the detriment of sexual relations. Mom strives to give to the baby 24 hours a day, and dad has no choice but to come to terms with this and gradually reduce the position of his importance in the family.

Psychologists say that the problems of lack of time and attention may not arise at all if you follow simple recommendations:

the dad should have several responsibilities for caring for the baby, for which only he is responsible (buying diapers, changing the diaper before bed, warming the “evening” bottle of food);
mother needs to leave the baby with her father for at least 30-40 minutes a day, without interfering in the process of their communication with her comments or advice;
if young parents have close relatives who are ready to sit with the baby, the spouses need to at least occasionally arrange romantic dates or just a joint vacation.

In the first time after the removal of the medical ban on sex, it is better for a woman to take the initiative in bed, because a man is subconsciously afraid of hurting his wife for a long time after giving birth. Occasionally, young mothers are even ready to make sacrifices, allowing their husband before the end of the one and a half month recovery period, but it is recommended to do this only with good health and always with the use of lubricants.

Cause - husband's infidelity

"Why doesn't my husband want me? Maybe he has an affair" on the side "?" Another situation: the husband comes home and not only does not try to pester his wife, but, on the contrary, avoids communicating with her in every possible way. Sometimes he even goes to bed in another room, eats alone, tries to be less visible. Unfortunately, almost always the combination of these signs indicates that a man satisfies his sexual needs in the company of his mistress, and this connection has gone so far that there is no longer any need to hide the obvious symptoms of infidelity.

Few wives are able to forgive adultery, but there can be no other successful solution to this problem. If a woman still loves her husband and is ready to wait until he “works up”, then in 70% of cases, her expectation is rewarded with the full return of the traitor to the bosom of the family. But what you definitely shouldn’t do is try to “negotiate” with your opponent. Such steps towards the object of love by a man are perceived very aggressively, which significantly reduces the possibility of family reunification later.

stress and routine

Perhaps the main reason why the husband does not want to have sex or has ceased to be active in bed is the monotony of the sexual life of the spouses. The phrase that "a man loves to win ..." continues: "... and receive a reward for it," so a woman should be careful to sometimes seize the initiative and reward a tired faithful for his daily work exploits.

Fatigue can also be of a different nature. Sometimes this is the result of strong moral pressure, financial failures or other problems that exhaust a man and take away all his strength. Often this is mixed with a sense of guilt towards his wife for deceived hopes, and a man depressed by all this actually loses the ability to relax.

Psychologists recommend that women in any case - in the absence of sex or in its bored monotony - deviate from the usual patterns and learn to surprise their man. Surprise generates curiosity, intrigue excites, and if the spouse is also invited to participate in a performance for two, where he will be assigned the role of a passive participant, he will get great pleasure, even when he is very tired.

Wrong behavior of a woman

Another reason why a husband does not want a wife, according to psychologists, is hidden in the unwillingness of sexual relations by the woman herself. It seems to the wife that it is enough for her to look neat, to keep herself and the house in order, in order to by default lock her husband's sexual attention on her person, and when this does not happen, resentment and proceedings follow. “I do not feel the need for intimacy, but I am afraid that the reason why my husband does not want me is his connection on the side,” is what specialists sometimes hear.

But men are like children. If they feel that their sexual desires are accepted without reciprocal enthusiasm, or, conversely, that their capabilities lag behind the level of demand, they will prefer to hide and pretend that all this does not concern them. In other words, they get so used to the fact that no matter how hard you try, it still doesn’t turn out right, that it’s easier for them to completely refuse sex than to act as an excuse all the time.

Approximately the same picture emerges when a spouse frankly manipulates bed life, "rewarding" her husband with sex only when he "deserves". For a man, such “sexual bookkeeping” is a serious blow to pride, which he may not be able to endure. Refusal of intimacy at the same time is the mildest version of male protest. In a huge number of cases, the husband simply finds himself a more accommodating girlfriend or finds solace in alcohol.

The reason is the age-related decrease in sexual activity.

There can be so many reasons why a husband does not want intimacy that it is unlikely that it will be possible to resolve all doubts without a delicate conversation. However, it is not a fact that a man honestly admits what really worries him, and it is better for a woman to rely on her inner insight and observation.

Age is one of the criteria that should be relied upon when making primary conclusions. After 35 years, a man experiences less need for the frequency of sexual contact, but he can do it better, paying much more attention to satisfying his beloved.

Starting from this period, a man may experience anorgasmia, to which the representatives of the stronger sex react very painfully. If a partner has become less likely to initiate intimate meetings after several cases of lack of ejaculation, then the question of why the husband does not want intimacy can be considered idle - he is simply afraid of another failure.

The duties of a loving wife include alleviating the level of anxiety of a loved one and psychological support in the form of downplaying the problem and exaggerating the value of other merits. It would be useful more often to say compliments addressed to the appearance of the husband, his masculinity, sexuality.

Since by the age of 40 the whole life of a man is rebuilt in a qualitative direction, a good wife (even if she is much younger) will have to accept new conditions and get rid of the frequent demands of sex. A good solution for this period will be the revival of the romantic relationship of partners: dates, pleasant trips, trips to the theater.

Conclusion

To stop asking the question over and over again: “Why doesn’t my husband want me?” It’s enough, according to experts, to look at yourself once from the outside. Is a woman who requires increased attention of her husband to her person always well-groomed, smells good, is in high spirits? Or is the spouse obliged to be in eternal combat readiness, regardless of the quality of the spectacle presented to him?

If you notice that your sex life has become insipid or generally reminds you of yourself less and less, do not ask about the reason why the husband does not want to love pleasures, but take care of yourself, sexologists say. A man will definitely notice the result, no matter how the intra-family problem is launched, but there is no need to demand this attention, let alone list all the points of the efforts made aloud. By the way, it is precisely the efforts in this matter that are most important, after which a woman does not have enough time for self-digging and depression, and by default she becomes attractive to a partner.

To regain sexual attractiveness as if inadvertently, not for the sake of a man (in any case, he should think that way), but for the sake of herself means to capture his attention. This is an axiom. And if the family didn’t get to the breaking point, and the whole problem was sexual cooling on the part of the partner, your own reboot will almost certainly revive the psychological closeness between the spouses and give the relationship a second chance.

Recently, quite often, representatives of the fair sex began to turn to psychologists with a sensitive question: “My husband does not want me. Does that mean she doesn't like it anymore?

For some time, the reluctance to enter into an intimate relationship was considered a purely female problem. Meanwhile, the lack of sexual desire in men is a common natural phenomenon that should not be frightened.

the site will consider the main reasons for the lack of sexual desire in men and find ways out of this situation.

Intimate talk

If you notice that the man of your dreams has become less sexually attentive to you, try to talk to him, find out why he does not want sex. This must be done without scandals and tantrums, having calmly discussed everything. You may find out something you didn't know.

There are two pitfalls in this conversation. Ask yourself questions:

Are you ready to find out the truth about why a man does not want you? After all, this truth can change your life dramatically.
Are you sure you don't like that your husband has become less desirable to you? In fact, the frequency of sexual intercourse, active sexual position is more imposed on us by modern society. We can be quite content with infrequent or temporary lack of sex because at the moment the family is busy with other things ( new job, a newborn baby, a new hobby that interested us so much that there are no thoughts about anything else), but comparing ourselves with others, we easily inspire ourselves: “Nightmare! Everything is wrong with me!”

If you nevertheless decided and had a conversation with your husband and identified some reasons, it is worth analyzing them in more detail.

Genetic issues and victims of morality

A man who suffers from such problems always experiences difficulties in his sexual life.

3% of men genetically have a weak sexual constitution and low level of sexual activity . Or, if the child's sexuality has been repressed, for example, by an overly strict, puritanical upbringing, or the child/adolescent has been forced to live in a same-sex environment for a long time, his sexual development is stunted or develops in a homosexual direction.

Such men can start families, but experience physiological and psychological difficulties in sexual intercourse with a woman.

Exit: everyday psychology such problems are not solved, so you should contact a sexologist and a psychologist. From the wife in this case requires maximum patience and participation.

Past illnesses

There are many different diseases (not only sexually transmitted diseases), the complications of which affect the sexual viability of a partner. Such diseases include even the flu, which the man suffered in adolescence and only now noticed its complication. What can we say about recent diseases.

Exit: on suspicion of decreased libido don't ignore doctors. Persuade the man to visit a specialist.

mild neurosis

Big workload unresolved issues, anxiety about “will everything work out?”, the pressure of negatively minded people in especially impressionable and responsible men quickly complicates sexual activity.

Exit: elimination of the psychotraumatic factor.

Temporary difficulties

Sometimes the sexual desire in men disappears due to sublimation, i.e. channeling sexual energy into more necessary activities. Unlike neurosis, here a man does not experience negativity.

Examples of such activities can be: urgent work, a new hobby, the opportunity to realize your dream (for example, there was money to build a house).

Exit: after the end of the activity, sexual activity is getting better.

Age

It is known that with age, it becomes difficult for a man to withstand the usual sexual load. If the partner at this moment puts excessive demands on him, the man will close, complexes will arise in him, he will avoid sexual contacts under any pretexts.

Exit: it is important for a woman to be realistic about the state of affairs. Tears, reproaches will not improve the condition. If your man is already old, and it is difficult for him to perform marital duties, discuss this moment with him, discuss the possibilities of using other methods of stimulation, which both of you will favorably treat.

Crisis of family life, unsatisfied sexual fantasies

If a man is uncomfortable with his wife, he experiences a crisis family life, a rethinking of many values \u200b\u200bbegan or sex with his wife became monotonous (in the same position, on the same sofa, on old faded linen), many sexual fantasies did not come true, the number of sexual acts also decreases.

Exit: do not forget to communicate with a man. It seems to you that you have known him for ages and can predict any desire. But this is a delusion.

My husband does not want me: what should I do? / shutterstock.com

Many men are embarrassed or do not consider it necessary to talk about their mental anguish, taking such behavior for weakness of character, because "men do not cry." Meanwhile, silence is detrimental and quickly destroys partnerships.

Ask a man what he dreams about, what he wants to achieve, what he likes / dislikes in his life. Be his psychologist and true friend. Do not forget to talk about sex, ask what he would like, what he especially liked before and is missing now, can it be repeated.

Remember that married life needs to be maintained as actively as you once worked to develop your relationship. Sex is not a conservative harmony standing in one place, but a constant dialogue between two lovers.

Communication on the side

If a man, who is usually the initiator of sex, suddenly became cold towards you, he probably had a passion on the side. It is difficult to constantly and efficiently work on two fronts, to satisfy your wife and mistress.

The main symptoms of such a connection may be groundless irritability towards you, ignoring your desires (especially in bed), avoiding frank talk, "guilty gifts."

Exit: if you are not afraid to find out the truth, it is worth talking to a man. Find out what the reason is: perhaps the “new relationship” is just a salvation from the above problems, and perhaps true love. What does he want to achieve? And in accordance with this, decide whether you want to continue with him or not.

The man does not know the problem, can not decide on the conclusion

Sometimes it happens. None of us can be an accurate expert on ourselves. If you have not found the reason, you should not put the matter on the back burner. Also, this advice will be useful to those women whose men do not want to make contact.

Exit:

1. Go with a man for a physical

If he resists, go through a medical examination together, say that you care about the health of the family. Operate with the fact that doctors recommend having a medical examination once a year. So you can exclude or identify hidden or overt diseases, disruptive sexual function men, moreover, get to know his general condition.

2. Visit a psychologist

If a man does not avoid visiting a specialist, this is a good sign. Two heads are good, but three are better. Psycholo r will help you get to know yourself and each other better. If a man protests against going to a specialist, you can go alone. In any case, this option will be more advantageous than just “going with the flow”.

3. Work on self-esteem

When the reason is not clarified, I want to come up with anything, up to suggesting to myself that you are no longer interesting to him. That you have gained weight or, on the contrary, have lost a lot of weight, that you have wrinkles or put on glasses, that cooking and cleaning have become worse, that the hairdresser has unsuccessfully cut your hair, etc.

It's so easy and so dangerous to blame yourself for everything. In fact, the years go by, and your man does not get younger over the years either. Don't underestimate your self-esteem. In caring for his physical and moral health, do not forget about yourself.

Make your holidays. Want to buy sexy lingerie (even if it does not interest her husband) - buy it, it will come in handy. Want to try out a new haircut - take a chance, men love brave women. Are you still deciding whether to start collecting porcelain dolls? Why not treat yourself right now? Got money for a spa? Go there if you really want to - then you can. After all, you are alone.

Olga VOSTOCHNAYA,
psychologist

In any marital relationship, it may happen that both spouses do not want intimacy from time to time. There can be many reasons. It is important to know this, and not to attribute everything to fading feelings and betrayal.

However, if the situation is such that the question arises why the husband does not want a wife, here women's logic and imagination draws a variety of pictures. But it’s worth, nevertheless, trying to find out the reason for such indifference, so as not to let the situation get out of control and help in time.

Residents of large metropolitan areas are constantly under pressure. The fast pace of life, the instability of the economy, unpleasant situations at work are not in the best way affect well-being and health. Overwork and stress affect a man's libido, reducing it.

Libido is greatly affected by stress and life in a big city.

The man is depressed and upset, there is no time for love joys. Not everyone is able to switch and completely relax. And it happens sometimes, just no strength to another physical activity.

Another variant of the reason why a husband does not want a wife is it is a "work-lover". Men who are passionately involved in the work process often sublimate their sexual energy in a different direction.

Their thoughts and desires are focused on what you love, especially when it comes to your own business. Reward and praise for a well-done business or project sometimes brings more pleasure and satisfaction for a man than sex.

Diseases affecting potency

Very often the answer to the question why a husband does not want a wife is the reason, which is a medical problem.

Possible diseases that provoke low sex drive:

heart diseases;
hormonal disorders;
impotence.

Depression

The brain is a strong erogenous zone. Sexual arousal starts in the head and then spread to other organs. Depression can dampen desire and lead to erectile dysfunction.

During depression, a man may refuse sex.

Ironically, many of the drugs used to treat depression can also suppress sex drive and make it harder to get an erection.

Depression is a severe mental disorder. This serious illness caused by changes in the cerebral cortex. It manifests itself in various forms and at different levels of intensity.

Men, women, rich and poor, teenagers and the elderly can all fall victim to this disease.

According to studies, 35 to 47% of people with depression have problems with intimate life, 61% of people with severe depression have sexual problems, and up to 40% of people taking general antidepressants - decreased sexual satisfaction.

Depression has both emotional (lack of motivation, inability to make a decision, low self-esteem, guilt, irritability, anxiety, suicidal thoughts) and physical manifestations (change in menstrual cycle in women, sleep disturbance, different kinds pain).

You should support your loved one if he is ill

Often, symptoms of depression are very difficult to recognize, so they are similar to many other physical and psychological diseases.

The situation is aggravated by the fact that many people are afraid to admit the problem and seek help from a specialist. Of course, This disease can and should be treated. In this situation, the support of the spouse, open trusting relationships are very important.

Heart diseases

The emergence of an erection and its maintenance, first of all, associated with proper work of cardio-vascular system . With atherosclerosis, clogging of blood vessels occurs and this does not allow blood to flow to the male organ, thereby preventing the process of excitation.

Venous disorders contribute to the outflow of blood from the penis which causes unstable erections.

Hypertension and therapeutic actions, aimed at lowering blood pressure, can also negatively affect potency.

Hormonal disorders

There is the concept of "male menopause" - andropause. Of course, men do not experience such strong and intense changes in the body as women. But still, people age and may experience less sex drive.

Sometimes the cause of decreased libido is andropause.

The body produces low level testosterone, which is a physiological result of the aging process and this leads to a loss of libido. Of course always There are medical options for dealing with this situation.

The pharmaceutical industry has in its arsenal a huge variety of pills and drugs that increase potency.

Impotence

Erectile dysfunction or impotence is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection of the penis sufficient for the sexual satisfaction of both partners.

There are many reasons why a man refuses intimacy. One of them is impotence.

Several decades ago, it was believed that impotence is the lot of older men. Today, young people often face such an ailment.

Excitation is a rather complex process in which blood vessels, cerebral cortex, nervous and muscular systems.

Failure in one of the organs can lead to problems with potency. So delicate the problem can have a detrimental effect on a man's self-esteem. And the situation is only getting worse.

The main physical The causes of erectile dysfunction are considered to be:

Diabetes.
High blood pressure, vascular problems.
Overweight.
Abuse of alcohol, tobacco, drugs, some sedatives.
Side effects of certain medications, including medicinal herbs.
Injuries, operations.
Prostate cancer.
High cholesterol, etc.

Often, in young men, such a symptom as erectile dysfunction is episodic and is associated with a psychological factor.

Among the psychological reasons are the following:

Depression.
Fatigue.
Stress.
Feelings of inferiority.
Personal sexual fears, relationship problems.

Internet addiction as the main occupation of a man

Internet addiction is an obsessive desire to use the Internet for an unlimited amount of time, the inability to think about something else. This condition is similar to a pathological addiction to gambling.

Social Media Addiction Affects Male Libido

Some Internet users may develop an emotional attachment to friends and the activities they create on their computer screens.

Internet users can enjoy the possibilities of the network web, which allow them to meet, socialize and exchange ideas through chat rooms, social networks or "virtual communities". Other internet users spend endless hours blogging.

Internet addiction negatively affects personal, family, scientific, financial and professional relationships. As a result of excessive use of the Internet, the perception of real life is disturbed.

Internet addicts spend more time alone and less contact with real people.

Those who suffer from internet addiction may attempt to hide the amount of time spent online, which leads to a violation of trust and mutual understanding in a once stable relationship. An Internet addicted man lives in a virtual world, can create fictional images. He may lose interest in sex in the real world.

Another problem for intimate relationships in marriage can be a man's addiction to watching pornography. There is an opinion that watching adult films strengthens relationships, adds passion. But most experts agree that Excessive porn viewing is detrimental for relationships.

A man can get more satisfaction from watching a movie than from a beloved wife. And in this case, the answer to the question of why the husband does not want a wife will be the reason, consisting in the unjustified expectations that porn films create.

The reason for the refusal of intimacy is in the wife

You should not assume that for a man sex is just the satisfaction of his physiological needs. Sometimes men are more romantic and emotional than women. And if the husband does not want a wife, it is worth considering, maybe the reason is in the wife herself.

Some men love romance as much as women.

Tenderness, a sense of spiritual closeness, trust, support are often very necessary for a man. If this is not the case, then he may lose the desire for physical intimacy.

Important to remember, how much praise, approval, gentle hugs and affectionate words are necessary for a husband.

Grievances, quarrels, showdowns are not always a way to “ignite passion”, but rather the opposite. That's why a man can shut himself up and shirk the fulfillment of marital duty.

It happens that wife after many years of marriage stops caring for herself, does not wear seductive lingerie, preferring convenience and simplicity, turns into a home second "mommy", enveloping her husband with excessive care.

These actions can also negatively affect the intimate life of spouses. A woman simply does not excite a man. It must be remembered that a wife is first of all a sexual partner, and then a mother and mistress.

Husband has a mistress

Remoteness, coldness, frequent quarrels, lack of intimacy for no apparent reason - these are possible signs that a man has another woman, or factors that may lead to this.

Men make lovers for many reasons. Some want to diversify their sex life, catch new sensations, others want to get what the wife does not give: understanding, approval, love, devotion. Third sure that a mistress must have"by status", etc.

Interesting fact, there are just men who are prone to treason, and men who are not capable of it.

If thoughts arise on the subject of why the husband does not want a wife, and the reason is another woman, then it will be quite difficult to reanimate the relationship in this case. Very often, a mistress is not a reason for a divorce for a man. And such relationships can satisfy him: his wife is at home, his lover is on holidays.

Parental responsibilities and hidden jealousy for the child as a reason for refusing sex

Some couples think that having a baby will only strengthen the marriage and make their relationship more tender and reverent. But in practice, quite the opposite often happens.

Some men are jealous of a child

The birth of a child brings changes in the way of life, the financial possibilities of a young family. Sometimes it becomes a real test for new parents. Especially, the situation can be aggravated if the young mother is in postpartum depression.

There are many more responsibilities, much less time for rest. Personal needs become secondary. There are conflicts, quarrels, disagreements. After childbirth, a woman's body may not look as attractive as before.

Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Sometimes it can start during pregnancy because the couple felt uncomfortable in sex, or future mom felt discomfort, or there were complications.

You often have to abstain from sexual intercourse during pregnancy.

Abstinence during pregnancy can lead to a long period of abstinence after the baby is born. Sometimes during childbirth, a woman breaks or undergo an episiotomy. It takes a significant amount of time to recover.

New dads may feel left out female attention, since most of the time a woman spends on caring for a newborn. In the face of the baby, they often see a competitor. As a result a man can withdraw into himself and become depressed. This is often the reason why a husband does not want intimacy with his wife.

What to do if the husband does not want a wife

The first thing to do is to admit that there really is a problem. Communication is the key to resolving the situation. It is important to talk delicately and try to find out the real reason why the husband does not want a wife. Based on this, you need to act accordingly.

If you have problems with potency, you should visit a doctor.

If the problem lies in diseases, you should seek help from a specialist. It is important to support your husband and, if possible, be with him at these moments. In the future, strictly follow the recommendations of the doctor.

If the question arises why a husband does not want a wife, and the reason lies in constant stress and overwork, try to change your lifestyle. Outdoor walks, active species sports, healthy eating- will help you feel more energetic and be healthy.

Sometimes just take a vacation and go on a journey, leaving mobile phone and other means of technology at home, and at least for a few days try to forget about business.

Sometimes you just need to relax together.

The reason for not having sex is your husband's internet addiction? It is important that the man himself understands this and wants to change something. You can try to negotiate and set the time spent online.

A woman should try find common common interests, not connected to the Internet networks and distract the man. Thus, the time spent together will increase, which can be successfully spent on making love.

Young parents should take care of the baby together.

young parents should be more tolerant of each other. You should share the responsibility for caring for the child. Try to find time for each other. If possible, ask other relatives or close people to sit with the baby, and just be alone.

Things are much worse if the husband has a mistress. A man can be content with this scenario for years.. And then the choice is already for the wife. Reconcile, try to save the relationship or leave.

Ideas for restoring your sex life

Sexual relations in marriage are very important. Without them, married life becomes "insipid" and "tasteless" and may simply collapse. For the restoration of intimate relationships, a great responsibility lies with the woman.

A woman should remember that she is not only a housewife.

No matter how trite it may sound, a man loves with his eyes. Therefore, a woman should not forget to take care of herself, dress up, and from time to time wear erotic lingerie. It is important that the husband feel and understand that the wife is doing this exclusively for him.

Can start the prelude to sex long before the actual sex. Passionate kiss on the lips at parting instead of the attendant on the cheek, light stroking of intimate places, while no one sees, SMS messages sexual in nature throughout the day they can ignite incredible passion in a man.

He will not be able to think of anything else, so enchanting sex in the evening is guaranteed.

After a hard day at work, give a man a light massage with erotic elements. Gentle touches, strokes and kisses will help to relax. A romantic dinner by candlelight, watching erotic films together will awaken passion.

If sex has become boring and monotonous, maybe it's worth venturing out and experimenting? Do not be shy and afraid. Can talk and discuss possible options with husband.

It should be understood that V sexual relations spouses may have problems. But nothing is impossible for a loving couple. Patience, understanding, love and tenderness can overcome temporary difficulties and strengthen relationships.

This video will tell you why a husband loses interest in his wife:

This video will tell you what to do if the husband prefers the computer, rather than intimacy with his wife:

Do not rush to make a scandal if a man has stopped paying attention to you. In most cases, the reason why a husband does not want a wife is the woman herself. Let's see what can affect the coldness of a loved one and what consequences should be expected.

Routine and life

The main reason why a husband does not want a wife is a monotonous and boring life. Of course, before entering into a marriage officially, both a man and a woman must clearly understand what awaits them in the future. However, marriage and family ties are not a reason to get rid of romance, forget about compliments and stop giving gifts, even the most symbolic ones.

Work, petty quarrels, shifting responsibilities, condemnation, lack of compromise, household chores and helping parents - this is a life that gradually eats up relationships within the family, filling only with hatred for each other and resentment.

Remember the first months of any relationship - while there is a spark, couples kiss every second, giggle cutely, satisfy each other at any convenient moment. This spark must be maintained by realizing simple truths:

floors can not be washed every day, however, like dishes;
sometimes you can do without a fur coat, but spend an extra weekend with your loved one;
you should not demand from a man what you yourself do not give (attention, gifts);
no need to change sexy clothes for old T-shirts with small holes that are embarrassing to wear even during repairs.

These banal facts show the true reason why a husband does not want a wife and is not drawn to her - life is killing your relationship.

Scandals, quarrels and showdown

If you want to know why a husband does not want a wife, you must first pay attention to behavior. Women are impulsive and emotional. Sometimes they do not need a reason to start a quarrel.

Women's overprotection, scandals over garbage or dishes, constant arrogance and tediousness only alienates the beloved. And here it is important to remember the elementary: an adequate man will understand everything without shouting, if a woman talks to him calmly, without getting personal and raised her tone.

Of course, this advice does not apply to careless persons who are not aware of their responsibility either to the family or to themselves. Stop screaming, don't be afraid to show signs of attention and support a man, then he will definitely not move away from you and will not look for attention on the side, forgetting that there is a beautiful and loving woman next to him.

Apathy and fatigue

IN modern world the reasons why a husband does not want a wife are common and analyzed by psychologists. The main problem is that today for a favorable life you need to work hard, giving it the best years of your life. Men, as a rule, take full responsibility and take care of the family, giving the wife the opportunity to stay at home, take care of the children and themselves. However, women forget the elementary fact that the male sex is also people and they tend to get tired, strive to withdraw into themselves and be lethargic.

In a frantic rhythm, men forget about what they aspired to before marriage and what they dreamed about, and if there is no support from the beloved, then all desire and sexual craving disappears. Answering the question why the husband does not want a wife, we will highlight two main pieces of advice:

Give your loved one a break. Understand that sometimes you can live without a modernized refrigerator and refrain from marbled beef, because sooner or later a person living in a frantic rhythm will spit on everything and go "into the sunset."
Stop "sipping". If your man is a kind, sympathetic person, then your regular scandals that do not carry important information will only repel your loved one.

Diseases and pathologies

If a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, this does not mean that he has another and he has lost interest in his rightful half. There are also a number of reasons that are directly related to the physiological characteristics of his body. Let's look at all the reasons why a husband does not want sex with his wife:

a decrease in libido occurs against the background of viral or infectious diseases;
also contribute to this diabetes, hormonal disbalance, disorders in the endocrine system;
prolonged depression and mental disorders;
age-related changes;
pathologies and inflammatory processes in the male genital organs;
disease of the cardiovascular and nervous system;
alcoholism and other addictions.

No proper self care

We are used to the fact that when a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, the stronger sex is always to blame. But sex is not an obligation, but a way of obtaining satisfaction on a voluntary basis. This means that partners should be as excited and relaxed as possible. But imagine a situation where a man meets a beautiful girl who looks well-groomed and elegant. However, after a few years of family life, she significantly gained weight, stopped shaving her hair on her legs and taking care of her hair. Clothing stores have been replaced by grocery stores, and instead of cosmetics, there is a whole range of medicines on the shelves, to the envy of pharmacists.

"A man should accept me for who I am," you say. However, will there be a feeling of passion for a loved one who does not take a shower, puts on dirty clothes and sometimes forgets to brush his teeth? A girl is simply obliged to take care of herself at any age, and it is not necessary to spend huge sums on visiting eminent cosmetologists.

Beautiful woman - happy woman. Sometimes everything is interconnected in marriage, because a man wants to become equal to his beloved, strive to give her the best, so the fair sex should stimulate him to accomplish great things. And it is better to start with your appearance (keep your body in a taut state, do not forget about your health, pamper yourself with an openwork peignoir).

no kids no problem

Many women also face such a dilemma - why the husband does not want children from his wife. In this case, there is no need to build illusions and harbor false hopes, because the answer lies on the surface. A man has other priorities in life, and children are not yet included in his planned plan. Sometimes it's hard to come to a compromise, but the only way is to talk to your loved one. Perhaps he has a primary goal that he has been striving for all his life.

Women forget that before they found their soul mate, a man had a completely different life. He developed, worked, dreamed and aspired to something, so to oblige and force him to take such a serious step as having children is stupid. The bottom line is that even before marriage, it is important to discuss this point so that you know what is in priority. Some men want to secure a good future for their children, build a house, save money, travel and write a book, and only then devote themselves to fatherhood.

But there are also cases when a man made a mistake in choosing a wife, and habit and responsibility do not allow him to leave her. Initially, he saw that his beloved takes care, takes care and cares, however, frequent emotional outbursts, screams and scandals out of the blue can spoil the opinion of her. A man simply loses guarantees that his wife will become soft, kind and sympathetic with the birth of a baby.

Reasons why a husband cools down after having a baby

The reason why a husband does not want a wife after childbirth affects 50% of all married couples. Firstly, you need to understand that with the arrival of the baby, family life will change for some period, because a small and failed person has appeared who needs to be looked after. And since men are the main breadwinners in the family, they cannot be scattered both on decent earnings and on the attention of women.

Put yourself in their place: earnings have not changed, and expenses are increasing every day, while the wife has become a housewife and takes care of the child. Absolutely all financial worries go to the stronger sex, so after a grueling 24/7 schedule, you don’t want anything but a hearty dinner and sound sleep.

For this reason, the husband often goes to bed separately. In addition, a woman with the birth of a baby often ceases to take care of herself. Even a few years later, when it is already possible to do exercises and read books, she chooses life and immerses herself in it completely, not paying attention to the fact that the marriage is gradually starting to crumble.

There are situations when a husband does not want a pregnant wife. This can be explained by the fact that the male sex is afraid of harming both the woman and their common child. Often, women are offended by this and believe that family life has gone wrong, just because the husband does not stick to the pregnant woman. The reason is that in modern media there is a lot of information that sex can harm a child in the womb.

A man has a feeling of anxiety and fear, because he cannot experience all the nuances of bearing a baby and be sure in what position it is better to perform coitus. And he does not touch his wife because if his beloved really excites him, then even touching and caressing can cause an erection. As a rule, frequent sexual arousal can bring discomfort to a man, and even pain.

Why kiss?

Kissing is a sign of trust. This means that partners are ready to open up to each other and share the most hidden secrets. However, the question often arises as to why the husband does not want to kiss his wife. Let's name the main reasons:

Stopped opening up. Perhaps you have undermined his trust or are gradually pushing him away from you. Constant quarrels, accusations and screams make the beloved doubt his choice, and subsequently all desire to show signs of attention, to show affection and warmth is lost.
Your husband is just a selfish and emotionally stingy person. However, he did not hide his character traits, and cold behavior could be seen before marriage. Therefore, here the blame lies entirely with the woman - you knew who you chose. This does not apply to those who fell victim to the "predator". There is a type of men who find a victim, and the more invulnerable she is, the more excitement they have. In every way they achieve attention, win, and when a woman breaks down and completely gives herself to her beloved, he simply loses all interest in her.

Think about it, do you show attention, compliment and care for your loved one? If not, then there is no point in demanding the same from your husband. Do you want to kiss? Kiss. And if you want to hug, you should not wait for the first step - do it yourself.

No harmony in bed

Another problem in psychology, why the husband does not want a wife - the couple simply do not have the same biorhythms. Let's give an example: a man works from 8 am to 6 pm, so after sunset he is awake and ready to conquer the peaks. His wife works from 12 noon until 12 at night, and when she comes home she dreams of a hot bath and a warm bed. At that moment, when a man lusts for a woman, she refuses him for a simple reason - fatigue. And then a similar situation occurs, exactly the opposite.

In this case, you need to be able to adjust your biorhythms, either getting used to the regime, or changing your work schedule, or sacrificing an extra hour for rest.

I want passion and innovation

So, what if the husband does not want a wife? First, analyze the lifestyle and environment that prevails in your family. Realize how bland and monotonous sex has become. Understand that to get the brightest pleasure, you need to be sexy, desirable and exciting.

Say: "No!" missionary position and five minutes of sex. Talk to your husband about his fantasies, tell him about yours. Meet your loved one in an exquisite peignoir and update your underwear. Buy sex toys, plug your husband in role-playing games- do everything to return the former spark. Feel free to try bdsm, flagellation, anal and oral sex, different poses from Kamasutra, tantric sex.

Selfishness of a partner

Perhaps a woman does not realize that she has encountered a manipulator in her life. At his whim, she must give blowjob and please him with others possible ways and the wishes of the wife are not taken into account. However, in this case, the woman is also to blame, because such behavior can be observed even at the beginning of the relationship, until the man becomes comfortable with his soul mate and decides to marry her.

Ready for sincerity?

Do not rush to throw verbal stones at your husband and blame him for selfishness. Try to have a heart to heart talk and find out why he stopped paying attention to you. But be prepared, because you can hear the bitter truth, which is very difficult to accept. In this case, you do not need to shout and accuse your husband of sincerity - this way you will push him away and, possibly, lose him forever. Mutually find a solution and a way out of this situation, and then clearly follow the plan. If you need to, sign up for a gym, send your kids to daycare, or hire a babysitter. And do not blame your husband for vulgar fantasies.

Step forward!

Sometimes women are faced with the type of men who are afraid to make the first move. They need to be pushed all the time: sexually stroking the body, touching intimate parts and then pull your hand into bed and talk about your fantasies.

It is important to realize that a woman sometimes imposes too many responsibilities on a man and demands the impossible, and after that she is surprised that her beloved has stopped paying attention to her. Only a sober analysis of the situation and sincere conversations will help restore the former passion and cause wild excitement in a man.